11 Grandma-Approved Vintage Hosting Tips That Are Still Good

Ditch the last-minute text message and give guests more of a heads up with formal invitations. “Letting people know well in advance shows thoughtfulness. It respects the busy rhythm of life and allows guests time to make arrangements. A well-timed invite is the first gesture of hospitality,” says Juliet Mitchell, CEO of Life Etiquette Institute.

Can you remember a time grandma didn’t personally greet you or another guest at the door? We didn’t think so. “There’s something so classic and charming about being welcomed personally as you arrive. Whether it’s a hug, a handshake or simply opening the door with a smile and eye contact, this small gesture instantly makes guests feel appreciated and seen. It sets the tone for the entire event,” says etiquette trainer Myka Meier.

Show your guests around and immediately offer them a quick bite or cocktail so they feel comfortable from the jump. “Never let a guest stand around empty-handed. Offer a drink, point them to the restroom and introduce them to others. These simple acts are the cornerstones of hospitality — and perfect icebreakers,” says Grotts.

Grandma might have been the one to teach you table manners in the first place, so it only makes sense that she’d want you to keep them in mind when hosting. “Today, dining skills are one of the most important skills to have because it shows you have taken the time to invest in yourself and make other guests feel comfortable,” says Diane Gottsman, national etiquette expert and founder of The Protocol School of Texas.

“Personal touches — like a handwritten place card or a small token — go a long way. They show that each person matters and offer something meaningful for them to remember the moment by,” says Mitchell. Plus, organized seating arrangements might even make guests more comfortable if they know they’re seated next to someone they’re more familiar with.

Forget the television — go with ambient music instead. “It sets the tone of the day or event, and unless it’s a sports viewing party, keeps everyone glued to conversation and nothing more,” says Meier. She also suggests choosing a signature scent, whether it’s a candle or a dessert baking in the oven.

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There’s nothing more awkward than going the whole party without being introduced to someone you don’t know — even if the gathering is super casual. As the host, it’s your job to take on that role. “Giving a bit of information about each guest was an art that grandma had down to a science and it’s still important today for a host to make proper introductions,” says Gottsman.

Remember that one snack or dessert you always knew grandma would have ready for you? Invent your own. And remember, it doesn’t have to be complicated — simply whip up your favorite (or simplest) drink or appetizer for a signature menu item everyone will look forward to come future gatherings. “A signature cocktail or favorite recipe always makes the host shine,” says Gottsman.

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Set the table the night before so you’re not scrambling minutes before guests show up. “It’s something many of our mothers and grandmothers did, and it’s still brilliant advice. Setting the table in advance gives you time to focus on cooking, getting ready or enjoying a few quiet minutes before guests arrive. It also helps you visualize the ambiance and add those special little touches, like candles or flowers,” says Meier.

While it certainly depends on the occasion, dressing up can set the tone. Regardless of what you decide dress-code wise, make sure you let everyone know beforehand. “Even an informal affair requires guests and the host to dress for a party and not for a trip to the grocery store,” says Gottsman.

Thanking guests for taking the time to attend your celebration or event is an old-fashioned gesture grandma would never skip. “In grandma’s time, she reached for her monogrammed stationery, penned a heartfelt thank you and had it in the mail within 24 hours. It’s a small gesture, but one with enormous meaning. In today’s world of likes and emojis, a handwritten note is a standout act of appreciation,” says Grotts.

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