13 Bed-And-Breakfast Etiquette Rules Everyone Should Know

Experienced travelers know that your accommodations can make or break a trip. While there are countless options for where to stay, none are quite as homey and welcoming as a bed-and-breakfast. Hotels can often feel sterile and corporate, while B&Bs tend to have more character and are typically owned and staffed by hosts who genuinely want their guests to feel at home. B&Bs are also structured more as experiences and packages — complete with complimentary breakfast, special events like wine and cheese hours, and a more community-centric atmosphere — rather than just places to lay your head at night. 

Despite the intimate setting of a B&B, there are some important ground rules that all guests should know, whether you’re staying for a single night or several. To get the scoop on fundamental B&B etiquette tips, we chatted with several hospitality professionals, including etiquette expert Lisa Mirza Grotts, inn owner and hospitality consultant Karen Lynch, and Ryan Meagher, owner of Fancie’s PEC, a boutique inn located in Canada. They shared some key things that all travelers should keep in mind when visiting a bed-and-breakfast — whether it’s your first time or you’re a seasoned inn-hopper. 

Staying overnight at a hotel can feel like a free-for-all. The rooms are so sterile that it doesn’t seem like it should matter if, after a long day of travel, you fall asleep in your plush hotel bed with your shoes still on. But, as soon as you walk into a bed-and-breakfast, you’ll know that something feels very… different.

Maybe it’s the charming (if slightly dated) decor, or the cheerful, smiling faces at the check-in desk, but it can feel like you are walking into someone’s home, rather than a cookie-cutter room at a hotel chain. This atmosphere is very much intentional. With that in mind, you should really follow the golden rule: treat your B&B the same way you’d treat your own space. Etiquette expert Lisa Mirza Grotts puts it perfectly: “Be the kind of guest you’d welcome into your own home.”

Granted, not everyone’s version of a “private home” is the same. However, small gestures — like dusting off your shoes before entering, not slamming doors, and keeping late-night hallway conversations to a minimum — will help ensure a pleasant stay for everyone and preserve the peace for all involved.

Commercial hotel chains usually have no issues accommodating children, but the same can’t always be said for B&Bs. “Many [bed-and-breakfasts] cater to quiet getaways, romantic weekends, or historic charm — not juice boxes and Lego,” says Lisa Mirza Grotts. B&Bs may prohibit children for a variety of reasons, including concerns about noise and tidiness. Child policies are usually outlined in the booking information, whether that’s on a B&B’s website or app. As a guest, it’s your responsibility to review this information beforehand and book accordingly.

That said, allowing children and being child-friendly are not the same thing. “While your child might be welcome, it could make for a stressful stay as parents,” says hospitality consultant Karen Lynch. She notes several things that make a B&B child-friendly, including rooms with adjoining rooms, pull-out couches, and ample outdoor space for play.

If you are bringing children with you, it is always helpful to give your hosts a heads-up before you arrive. “It is worth the time to make sure that your family is comfortable and that the innkeepers can accommodate your family’s needs,” Lynch says. That way, you can sort out the breakfast menu and ensure that you have all the necessary items for a successful stay — including high chairs. Your hosts will appreciate getting advance notice and the fact that you’ve taken the time to review their policies. 

Trying to sleep in a hotel when the person two doors down doesn’t realize their alarm has been going off for an hour — or blasts TV at the loudest possible volume until the wee hours of the morning — feels like a universal experience. Their decision affects the guests around them and can quickly turn an enjoyable stay into a one-star review. The long and short of it? Don’t be that guest.

If your B&B is older and has thinner walls, sound may travel differently than in a well-insulated hotel room. If your B&B has quiet hours, it’s essential that you adhere to them to keep the peace with other guests. These hours may be listed on the reservation or posted in common areas. When in doubt, you can always inquire at check-in. 

Being mindful of other guests also means cleaning up after yourself. As Lisa Mirza Grotts says, hotel staff are “innkeepers, not butlers.” Leaving coffee mugs littered about the lobby and the board games a mess in the common room doesn’t just inconvenience your hosts, but also the other guests who are trying to enjoy their stay. Something as simple as removing your K-cup from the community Keurig and cleaning up errant sugar packets on the coffee table can help make someone’s day a little easier.

Dining with a dietary restriction — whether it’s gluten-free, vegan, or allergies — can be difficult. It can also be challenging for B&Bs and restaurants to accommodate these requests, especially without advance notice. Depending on the scale of the operation, your hosts might be buying ingredients and cooking breakfast themselves — rather than relying on an in-house restaurant and kitchen staff. As such, the menu might be smaller, with limited flexibility for substitutions or special requests.

Ryan Meagher, founder of Fancie’s PEC, recommends inquiring about any dietary accommodations before your stay. “Sometimes they will market the types of dietary restrictions they can accommodate online, but if you cannot find the information, you can reach out to them directly to ask,” he says. Karen Lynch echoes this. “You don’t want to miss out on a great meal because of an undisclosed food allergy,” she says. You may also want to inquire about food if you’re bringing children with you, since a B&B’s abbreviated breakfast menu may not cater to picky eaters. 

Remember when we said that you should be treating a B&B like your own home? Well, there comes a time when you really shouldn’t treat it like it’s your own home — and that’s when you come to breakfast, or use any of the common spaces for that matter. While you might not think twice about sitting down at your kitchen table shirtless, we’re going to go out on a limb and say that other guests may not want to see the clothes you wore to bed the night prior. This is especially true if you’re staying at a B&B that serves breakfast to the public. 

“It is usually a fair assumption that the attire for guests should be the same as if you were going to breakfast at a restaurant,” says Ryan Meagher. So while you don’t have to be dressed to the nines, appropriate and modest attire is expected.

The “breakfast” component is one of the best things about staying at a B&B. It can be very homey and satisfying to sit back in an old wooden chair on a screened-in porch, sharing stories with other guests and innkeepers over a stack of warm French toast. While hotel breakfasts are usually nothing to write home about, and may even be filled with foods that you probably should avoid, B&B breakfasts are, in Lisa Mirza Grotts’ words, “lovingly prepared and plated.” She says that one of the most important etiquette rules that bed-and-breakfast guests should follow is to arrive on time to breakfast — which will help you take advantage of this experience in its entirety. 

Many B&Bs have a designated window where breakfast is served, which should be made clear to you upon check-in. Depending on the B&B, coffee and tea may be set out beforehand and afterwards, but if you miss breakfast, you may have to visit the nearest Dunkin’ instead. That being said, if you’re an early bird, try to be mindful of this window as well, so as not to crowd the staff as they’re preparing the meal and space for guests. They need ample time and space to get set up — especially if they’re converting a common space into a breakfast area — and no one wants to work with someone pensively looking over their shoulder.

If you’re planning an early check-out or have other reasons to skip breakfast, Karen Lynch suggests inquiring about a to-go meal. “Just realize that you won’t be getting a hot meal — most likely fresh fruits, pastries, yogurts, and foods that can travel safely and easily,” she says.

Hotels and motels may have a shared lobby, gym, pool, and the like — but they’re nothing compared to the maze of libraries, rooms, and spaces in a bed-and-breakfast. That being said, not every room in a bed-and-breakfast is open for guest use. You are, in essence, staying in someone’s home, so you’ll want to be respectful and know which spaces are shared and which are off-limits.

Ryan Meagher shares that every accommodation is unique, so if you are curious about floor plans, layouts, or amenities, you may want to ask your hosts ahead of time. He explains that Fancie’s PEC’s decision to share floor plans with its guests helps them “envision the spaces better.” If deciding which B&B to book, this feature may come in handy.

Even if a space is open to guests, you’ll want to keep things neat and tidy. Reshelving reading material or board games when not in use, shutting off the lights when entering and exiting the space, and letting your hosts know if anything is damaged or broken goes a long way.

If you’ve eaten breakfast at a hotel, you likely know how easy it is to weasel a plate of food back to your room without anyone noticing. While there’s something nice about enjoying breakfast in bed, this isn’t always something allowed at bed-and-breakfasts. Your B&B might have several reasons why it doesn’t allow you to take food back to your room. For one, plates, mugs, and silverware start accumulating in rooms, which can spell disaster if the B&B is small and only has a few extra to spare. There’s also always the risk of spilling food on the floor or damaging parts of the room. Plus, running off to your room to eat alone honestly destroys the whole communal dining aspect that makes staying at a bed-and-breakfast enjoyable in the first place. 

You’ll want to ask your hosts if food is allowed in the rooms before you fix yourself a plate and give your fellow guests an Irish goodbye. “Again, it is a very good idea to ask a question like this prior to arrival or booking to make sure that you can have your expectations set prior to your stay,” says Ryan Meagher.

The “no food in rooms” policy (or some derivative of it) may also extend to snacks and beverages. For example, if your accommodation has a community Keurig in the lobby, you may need to take your beverage back to your room in a paper cup, rather than a mug. Always ask about your hosts before assuming; it’s more appreciated than you may think.

One of the best things about B&Bs is that you have an opportunity to mingle with other travelers and guests during your stay. Whether it’s short conversations over a stack of pancakes or on the back porch at sunset, staying at a B&B means that you get to know your fellow guests in a way that you don’t if you stayed at a hotel. “It is very easy and natural to strike up a conversation while enjoying the wine or tea hour or at breakfast,” says Karen Lynch. 

That being said, you don’t have to engage in conversations — it’s understandable after a long day of traveling. “Know, though, that it is okay if you don’t want to overly engage with other guests — it’s up to you,” Lynch says. Just don’t be surprised if you get a “And where are you from?” at the breakfast table in the morning. 

Tipping is a relatively contentious topic in several circles, whether in the context of dining out or staying at a hotel. Karen Lynch says that tipping your innkeepers is certainly not expected, and she even ventures to say that it’s rare. However, as she puts it, “Tipping the housekeepers or a staff member who goes above and beyond is always appreciated.” 

Deciding whether or not to tip comes down to several factors. For example, if staff members are serving you breakfast, you may feel obligated to leave a couple dollars on the table. If the linens in the room are being changed daily and you’re returning to a spotless room after a day of exploring, you may also want to consider leaving a tip. 

It’s also worth considering what’s included in your B&B package. Lynch explains that B&Bs typically have amenities, like freshly baked cookies, a wine and cheese hour, and of course, breakfast — meaning you “won’t be nickeled and dimed for water, wi-fi, breakfast, or a glass of wine,” as you might in a hotel. In many cases, the services you might otherwise tip for are already built into the overall experience.

We asked Karen Lynch what sanitation-related pet peeves guests should be aware of when staying at a B&B, and her answer was honestly a little surprising, mostly because we hadn’t considered it before: using self-tan products. “The stains from the self-tanning products are almost impossible to remove and lots of linens have to be discarded,” she says. 

Luckily, there are two easy solutions: either tan at home or ask your innkeeper for old towels. “Trust me, innkeepers always have sets of well-used towels,” Lynch says. 

On a related note, if your inn stocks pristine white washcloths, you may not want to use them for cleaning the crud off your shoes, removing your makeup, or tackling other messy tasks. Some inns and hotels will stock dark-colored washcloths specifically for this purpose, so don’t be afraid to ask if you don’t see them in the linen closet. 

When you stay in a B&B, you’re not just living communally (albeit for a short time) — you’re also dining communally. While you don’t need to know whether your fork goes on the left side or right side of the plate (or other fine dining etiquette nuances), you do need to ensure that you’re following basic sanitary practices and being respectful of other people’s dining experience. For example, if your breakfast is served buffet-style, always use a fresh plate rather than going back for seconds with a dirty one. Reusing dirty plates can create food safety issues and cause cross-contamination. To further reduce that risk, always use the tongs or provided utensils to serve yourself, rather than your hands. 

Etiquette also includes being mindful of how much food you take from the buffet. Smaller bed-and-breakfasts may be operating on tighter margins than a massive hotel chain, meaning the breakfast crew might only be making enough food to feed its current guests. Leftover ingredients may be saved for the next day’s meal, so make sure you only take what you can (and intend to) eat. 

Your innkeepers are an excellent resource — especially if you’re unfamiliar with the area. “If you want to know the best restaurants, attractions, hikes, or local history. Just ask an innkeeper!” says Karen Lynch. Your host may actually live in or near the area, so don’t hesitate to ask about must-see spots or local tips.

That said, it’s important to be mindful of your hosts’ time. “Remember: It’s a home, not a help desk,” says Lisa Mirza Grotts. “Your hosts aren’t on call 24/7.” So maybe save the dinner recommendation questions for breakfast the next morning.