How to Teach Children Table Manners

I am often asked, “how to teach children table manners”. Table manners are very important as they provide an invaluable level of confidence for children.

It is amazing how a six-year-old child can charm and mesmerize you from a distance. We were in Madrid a few years ago at The Westin Hotel waiting patiently for our table. I looked over at a cute little girl having breakfast. She was intensely involved with consuming her eggs and bacon. This little one ate beautifully and elegantly in fine continental style. Obviously, her parents took her out to eat often and traveled with her. She handled her knife and fork with ease and grace. I couldn’t help but smile and point her out to my husband. We tried not to stare!

What’s the difference between dining styles, and is it acceptable to use the continental (or European) style in the United States? Will eating this way be seen as incorrect? And, most importantly, which style should I teach my children?

Below, you’ll find answers to commonly asked questions about introducing different dining styles to children.

American vs. Continental Dining Styles:  Should Children Know the Difference?

What is the difference between American and Continental style dining?

European style is where you keep the knife in your right hand and eat with the fork in your left (for those who are right-handed). The fork is lifted to your mouth with the tines down.

In American style, you cut with the knife in your right hand and the fork in your left. After cutting, you put your knife at the top of your plate, blade facing toward you, switch your fork to your right hand, and the left hand goes in your lap while enjoying your bite.

The tines of the fork face up as the food goes into your mouth. With both styles, while cutting, remember to cut only one bite-sized portion at a time. For young children, it is acceptable to cut the entire chicken breast (or steak, etc.) at one time to make mealtime easier. However, this is not the case for adults.

Which style do I teach children and at what age should I introduce both?

By age 10 and beyond, children should be familiar with both the American and European dining styles. 

While they may feel more comfortable with the American style simply because it’s what they’re used to seeing, it’s essential that students understand that the European style is equally acceptable, even in the United States. 

Explain that they may grow up and have opportunities to travel internationally. 

Knowing both styles helps them recognize European dining as a valid option, so if they observe others eating this way, they’ll understand it’s an appropriate and respectable choice—not something “odd.” 

Teaching table manners with this cultural awareness prepares students with well-rounded etiquette skills for global settings, a valuable part of etiquette certification programs.

When teaching good manners, it’s essential to guide children on proper fork and knife usage and refined eating techniques. In today’s fast-paced society, meals often include finger foods like chicken nuggets or apple slices, which don’t require utensils. As a result, children miss the opportunity to learn how to hold a fork correctly, often ending up using utensils like a shovel—a habit that’s improper in any culture.

How do I teach children to correctly hold a fork while eating?

This is so very important. Using a fork correctly is the same as holding a pencil. The child balances the fork on his middle finger with the index finger and thumb on top.

Click here for information on how to become a certified etiquette consultant.

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