When houseguests turn hellish: The wild, wacky and downright diabolical tales Australian hosts will never forget

Ever wondered why having houseguests can turn even the most zen-like host into a bundle of nerves? Science reveals there’s actually a psychological reason – and these shocking Australian horror stories prove that sometimes your defensive instincts are completely justified.

Ever wondered why having houseguests can turn even the most zen-like host into a bundle of nerves? According to environmental psychologist Dr Shawn Burn from California Polytechnic State University, there’s actually science behind the stress.

Houseguests temporarily set up their personal shop in another’s primary territory, she explains. Your home is a cherished, personal territory where inhabitants have a high degree of personal control over an extended period of time.

In other words, when guests invade your sanctuary, your brain goes into defence mode faster than you can say ‘make yourself at home—and sometimes, as these shocking stories from Australian hosts reveal, that defensive instinct is entirely justified.

When we asked readers to share their wildest houseguest experiences, the response was overwhelming. Over 350 comments poured in, ranging from mildly annoying to absolutely gobsmacking. While the original stories were shocking enough, a deeper dive into the world of houseguest horror reveals an epidemic of entitlement that knows no bounds.

Bathroom disasters that defy belief

‘Cut their toenails on the loungeroom carpet and left the carnage there,’ one reader shared.

But that’s practically polite compared to what Reddit users have experienced. One unfortunate host discovered their guest ‘had filled up the little bathroom trashcan with diarrhea and fled in the night’.

Another found their sister-in-law’s bridesmaid had not only vomited throughout the house but also ‘left a HUGE shit in the middle of the staircase’.

‘Urinated in the wardrobe’ was another gem from our readers, though at least that guest stuck around to face the music, unlike the midnight poo-and-dash perpetrator.

Kitchen nightmares and dining disasters

‘Thumped his chest and burped at the table after he ate the roast dinner I’d cooked for him,’ shared one disgusted host. Another recalled: ‘My father-in-law and his 3rd wife…refused the baked dinner I had prepared… to then an hour later go and cook up some spam and beans to eat!’

When etiquette expert Myka Meier asked her Instagram followers to weigh in on guests’ faux pas, people jumped at the chance to express their grievances. A common theme: a perceived sense of entitlement, in the form of guests who use a blender at the crack of dawn, or a friend sending her host a list of groceries to buy her.

Theft, destruction and pure evil

‘Stole my grandmother’s wedding ring,’ one heartbroken reader shared. But the violations of trust go even deeper. Reddit users report guests stealing entire gaming systems, birthday cakes, and in one particularly cruel case, someone at a party dumped a cup of vodka in my fish tank because ‘your fish look bored! Hahaha!’

The award for most devastating betrayal? ‘Slept with my husband.’ Sometimes the worst houseguests leave damage that no amount of cleaning can fix.

Dr Burn’s research reveals why hosting is so uniquely stressful. The home is a primary territory and people are especially reactive to primary territory invasions. Unlike your workplace or a shop, your home is where you have complete control—until guests arrive.

Maybe Ben was right: a few days we can tolerate, but stress builds as visits go on. Hosts typically communicate feelings of invasion through social withdrawal and short-temperedness, which explains why even the most gracious hosts can turn grumpy by day three.

The exhaustion factor

Sustaining polite interpersonal interaction, and maintaining our public face in what is normally a private space for our private face, is exhausting. It’s no wonder hosts feel drained—you’re essentially ‘performing’ 24/7 in your own home.

Australia’s unique hosting culture adds extra layers of complexity. Australians sometimes find it awkward and overly-formal when people prepare a large amount food for their visit or are extreme in their hospitality during the visit. We prefer things casual and relaxed, which can clash with guests from cultures where elaborate hosting is expected.

Many Asian cultures are ‘high context,’ meaning that people rely on a lot of unspoken communication such as body language, notes international etiquette expert Sara Jane Ho. This can lead to misunderstandings when direct-speaking Aussies host guests from more indirect communication cultures.

Timing troubles down under

While punctuality matters in professional settings, it is usually okay to be 10 to 15 minutes late to a small gathering of people in Australia. But some guests take this relaxed attitude too far, arriving hours late or, worse, days early.

‘A guest started going around the house to show other guests our bedrooms,’ one reader shared. This violates a key Australian norm: If you visit an Australian home, you may not always receive a tour of the house, and many of the doors may be closed out of privacy.

Setting boundaries before they arrive

‘Don’t make your host feel like a hurricane blew through their home,’ Swann says. But how do you prevent Hurricane Houseguest from making landfall?

Etiquette expert Lisa Grotts recommends a two-night maximum for most stays, though this might seem stingy by Australian standards where weekend visits often stretch longer.

During the visit: Damage control strategies

When things go sideways (and they will), remember these survival tactics:

Surprisingly, it’s absolutely acceptable to invite yourself to stay with someone so long as you feel comfortable enough with the person you’re asking, according to etiquette expert Elaine Swann. But this doesn’t mean showing up with a moving van and no end date.

The gift debate

You might calibrate the gift based on the length of your stay. A bottle of wine for a night, perhaps a restaurant voucher for a weekend, or offering to stock the bar for longer stays.

But here’s the thing—no gift makes up for bad behaviour. As one Reddit user noted: ‘They brought expensive champagne but trashed my bathroom. I’d rather they’d brought nothing and acted like humans.’

Communication is key

It is common to address people by their first names, even in professional settings in Australia, reflecting our informal culture. Use this to your advantage—be direct about your needs:

• ‘Jenny, would you mind keeping the music down after 10?’
• ‘Bob, the bathroom’s all yours from 7-7:30 each morning’
• ‘Kids, food stays in the kitchen, please’

Every nightmare guest teaches us something. ‘My MIL used to come and visit uninvited and criticise everything we ate,’ one reader shared. The lesson? Unexpected guests get what they get, and they don’t get upset.

‘Walked throughout my house, touching and looking. She terrified my birds,’ wrote another. The lesson? Some people need supervised tours only.

‘Moved my artwork around because they didn’t like the placement…’ The lesson? Valuable or sentimental items go in locked rooms before guests arrive.

If you’re planning to visit someone this summer, here’s your guide to not ending up in their horror story collection:

The stories keep rolling in, each more jaw-dropping than the last. From the guest who rearranged the entire kitchen cupboards ‘to be more efficient’ to the one who used antique lace doilies as coasters for their beer cans, it seems there’s no limit to houseguest audacity.

But perhaps the most valuable lesson from all these tales is this: You’re not alone, you’re not being unreasonable, and yes, it’s perfectly fine to never invite them back.

Have you survived a houseguest from hell? We’d love to hear your stories in the comments below. Share your worst experiences and your best survival tips—because sometimes the only thing that helps is knowing you’re not alone in the madness!

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Don Turrobia

Don is a travel writer and digital nomad who shares his expertise in travel and tech. When he is not typing away on his laptop, he is enjoying the beach or exploring the outdoors.